People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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