So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
