pop tarts are not kleenex
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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