haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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