yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
