I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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