He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize