do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
this is an emotional support booty call
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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