You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
