Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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