We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
this will be a night to untag.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
