Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My legs feel like baby dolphins
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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