I wannas sexs uuuuu
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
