Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
