Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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