What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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