can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
