I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
