that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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