haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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