Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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