I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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