Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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