Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
