i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
