just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
