Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
