dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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