Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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