let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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