i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
