I'm going to jail i love you
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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