Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
