The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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