So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i've created a new STD.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
