Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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