...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
