my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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