my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
