the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
