He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i now understand why vodka
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
