sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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