That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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