More tranny stories later!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I still have a little drunk in my system
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
