GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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