If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
