The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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