So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
