I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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