dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
