I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
