After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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