for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
