Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
