That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's never too late to be topless.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize