two words: eviction party
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
