Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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