SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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