tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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