he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
