Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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