hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
