need another drink. this is the easiest way
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
