that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
