I wanna passion pit in your ass
are you so shy because you have an std?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
