my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
