He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize