She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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